


She Who Shall Not Be Named

by karrienico



Category: Runaways (Comics), Runaways (TV 2017)
Genre: Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Pen Pals AU, Slow Burn, friends to enemies to friends to lovers if we’re being super technical, no powers, no pride, none of that, temporary nico x topher
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-02
Updated: 2019-01-28
Packaged: 2019-09-05 04:24:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 19,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16803577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/karrienico/pseuds/karrienico
Summary: Karolina and Nico have been anonymous pen pals since a project in 5th grade. They're also part of the same tight-knit group of friends, but their friendship (or lack thereof) is strained due to a falling out they had. What happens when details in their letters start to get a little too specific and familiar and their two worlds combine?//Deanoru Pen Pals AU





	1. Of All People

Karolina watched in disgust as Nico was being intimate with her boyfriend, Topher, on the opposite side of the table. 

"Are you okay, Karolina? You look like you're planning murder."

Karolina snapped out of her angry daze and looked at her purple haired friend who was smirking at her, like she just knew all the answers to everything. She thought Karolina hated Nico and Topher together because she had a crush on Nico, which couldn't be further from the truth. She didn't. Not anymore. There was a lot more to it than that which Gert would probably never know about, or anyone for that matter.

"I'm fine," Karolina mumbled and finally took a bite of her muffin that had sat there, untouched for the past ten minutes. "I'm just tired."

"That's always your excuse," Gert's little sister, Molly, chimed in. 

Alex, who was sitting right beside her, nodded. "She's right you know," 

The mini interrogation seemed to finally get Nico and Topher's attention, and they stopped kissing to look over at Karolina as well. Karolina's eyes avoided Nico's gaze, and the rest of her since she was currently curled up into Topher's side. That was the case most of the time, lately. Karolina trying not to even glance at Nico (much less interact with her), but it proved to be extremely difficult. She was just so beautiful to Karolina. She always had been.

"Guys!" Karolina exclaimed, slight frustration in her voice, "I'm fine. I just didn't get that much sleep last night."

The round of unconvinced _'oookay's'_ frustrated Karolina even further. Anger felt so weird and foreign to her, and also to the people around her. How could someone so sweet and lively suddenly turn into a constant irate mess? 

Out of nowhere, Gert's boyfriend, Chase, sent his carton of milk flying across the table somehow. Karolina let out a quiet sigh of relief when the conversation shifted from their concern over Karolina, to making fun of Chase. 

"What just happened?" Alex asked.

"Chase just decked his milk," Molly said, "What did that milk ever do to you?"

"Chase, you got it on my shirt!" Gert yelled.

"Sorry!" He said.

Nico was laughing hysterically and so was her boyfriend. They leaned even closer to each other as their bodies shook. 

Karolina looked at her friends, feeling disconnected as they were all in pure, unadulterated happiness. There was a time where she would laugh along with them, but all she could focus on was Nico and Topher looking like the cutest, most perfect couple in the world a mere foot away from her. It made her numb.

After what felt like an eternity to Karolina, the five minute warning bell went off. She immediately stood up, threw her breakfast away, and speed walked to her next class.

"What is up with her lately?" She heard Chase ask the others just before she got out of audible range. But she knew what Nico's response was. Nothing. She was probably just staring at her back as she stormed away, that same unreadable look on her face. Karolina would almost prefer if she looked smug. Something about Nico being completely apathetic as she dangled her new boyfriend around right in front of her made her insides churn. And it wasn't that Nico wasn't allowed to be happy and be in a relationship, it's just that she happened to pick the worst possible person to date. The person that sends a wave of guilt through Karolina every time she looks at him or hears his name. Hell, even the word "tofu" made her feel guilty, since it sounded similar to his name. It was weird trying to explain to her mom why she broke into sobs when she was told tofu was for dinner. Damn growing up in a vegan family.

And of course, Karolina's first class is with Nico. At least it was her only class with her, so she could get it over with and not have to worry about her for the rest of the day. She sits down in her assigned seat, and scrolls through her social media apps until the bell rings to avoid looking at Nico when she walked in. One problem that got in the way of attempting to not look at her was the fact that Karolina sat in the back, two rows behind her. And Nico was always at the exact same angle to Karolina as their teacher was. So by being a good student and paying attention to their instructor, Karolina had to endure looking at the back of Nico's head in her peripheral vision.

Karolina sighed and rested further into her hand that was against her face. She hated how boring this class was. Maybe if it was halfway interesting she would actually be able to focus instead of staring at her enemy/friend (whatever the hell they were) and replaying everything that happened between them. Why did they have to have the one class together that Karolina spaces out the most in? Why couldn't they have gym together instead?

Nico turned her head to glance at the clock on the wall, revealing her side profile to Karolina. Karolina's eyes traced over every feature. The shape of her nose, her high cheekbones, her jawline that she remembers placing gentle kisses on. She ignored the little part of her mind that wanted to kiss it again. Kiss _her_ again. She didn’t still like her. She couldn’t.

When class finally ended, Nico stood up immediately and made a beeline for the door like she always did. Karolina wondered if Nico just hated that class as much as she did, or if she wanted to get out of the same room as her as soon as possible. Most likely both. Karolina didn't totally blame her. Part of her felt the exact same way, but she would be lying if she said it didn't bother her. 

Karolina's next class was graphic design, and since she had access to a computer, she decided to check her email. It was mostly spam and stuff from colleges she wasn't interested in attending. Then it occurred to her that she hadn't checked her other email in a couple of weeks. Her other email being her secret email she used to write to her anonymous pen pal, Sister Grimm. She mentally laughed at her pen pal's name. They had come up with their secret names in fifth grade, and at this point, changing them would just be confusing, so they stuck. Karolina's secret name was "Lucy in the Sky", because Karolina was really into the Beatles at the time (or at least the "Beatles: Top Hits" album she borrowed from her dad). Karolina wasn't too embarrassed about the name she chose, mainly because her pen pal's name seemed more embarrassing and she usually just addressed Karolina as "Lucy".

She logged into her other account to see if Sister Grimm had replied to her. Ever since Junior year, when things started to get hectic for the both of them, they had been slacking on writing to each other. Something they used to do every day turned into a once or twice a week occurrence. 

"Shit," Karolina muttered when she saw that Sister Grimm emailed her two weeks ago. That was probably the longest it had taken for Karolina to respond to her. She opened the email and read it.

_FROM: sistergrimm87@hotmail.com_  
_TO: lucyinthesky.withdiamonds@gmail.com_  
_DATE: Oct 30 at 6:34 PM_  
_SUBJECT: school and life update_

_Lucy,_  
_Did you hear about Mr. Roberts getting suspended for having porn on his computer? You probably have, it's all that everyone was talking about for like 3 days. But you didn't hear about the old Vice Principle going to prison even though everyone talked about it for a WEEK so I figured I should let you know. I'm not one for gossip, as you know, but they were both dicks so they had it coming. But anyway, enough about school gossip, how have you been? I've been pretty good. I'm finally starting to come to peace with my mom's death. I'm still depressed about it, but I've been actually caring about my grades again and I'm not completely numb all the time. I'm starting to feel things again. Whoa, that's probably the deepest I've ever gotten with you. Sorry. I just feel more comfortable talking about it with someone anonymously. It makes me feel less vulnerable. So um... feel free to vent to me about anything you want lmao. Please don't hold back since I just loaded that on you. Sorry again._  
_\- Sincerely, Sister Grimm_

Karolina cringed thinking about how Sister Grimm must have felt when she opened herself up in that email, only to be ignored for two weeks. Hopefully she didn't think she had scared Karolina away. She quickly typed up a response.

_FROM: lucyinthesky.withdiamonds@gmail.com_  
_TO: sistergrimm87@hotmail.com_  
_DATE: Sep 13 at 11:04 AM_  
_SUBJECT: Re: school and life update_

_Sister Grimm,_  
_Sorry this took me so long to respond to, I've been really busy with school work and college applications and whatnot. Also to answer your question, yes I did hear about Mr. Roberts surprisingly. I do appreciate you for trying to keep my oblivious self up to date with everything haha. And I've been okay. I kind of had a falling out with my friend and things have been really weird between us, but I'm hoping that things will eventually go back to how they were._

She felt like a liar since she knew her and Nico would never revert back to the way they used to be.

_Also, don't be sorry. I totally understand wanting to talk about it to someone anonymously. You can talk to me about anything, I won't judge :) I'm really happy you're starting to feel like yourself again, and I hope you continue to go up from there._  
_\- Yours truly, Lucy_

She pressed send, feeling slightly better after telling her about it. They usually tried to avoid revealing any type of personal details about themselves, so despite the fact that they had been pen pals for seven years, there's a lot they didn't know about one another. They started being pen pals in fifth grade, when they were given a project where they had to anonymously write to someone from another school in their district, and then meet them at the end of the year. Sister Grimm was sick the day that Karolina's class visited her elementary school, so they never got to meet. But Karolina had enjoyed writing to her, so she convinced her teacher to let her send one more letter that had her new secret email account written on it. About a week later, Sister Grimm emailed her, and they had been going back and forth since. About a year ago, Karolina accidentally revealed the homecoming theme at her high school to Sister Grimm, which is how Sister Grimm had discovered that they went to school together now. And Karolina knew she was in the same grade as her, since they were both obviously in fifth grade at the same time. She often observed the girls in her grade, trying to figure out if any of them could be her pen pal. She even considered if it was Nico at some point, but her only piece of evidence was Nico's goth aesthetic fitting with her pen pal's name, which wasn't even that valid considering she had come up with that name years ago. Also the fact that Sister Grimm's mom died, and Nico's mom is alive and well. Nico's sister, Amy, died. But, it wasn't the same thing. So, she usually brushed that possibility off. Sister Grimm was always so private and careful, so Karolina was quite shocked she opened up to her just then. And with all the emails where she mentions her mother's death. Karolina guessed she probably didn't talk about it much in real life, and needed some type of outlet.

She heard her phone vibrate, and picked it up to find that Gert had texted her. Her contact name was "Gert Geller", since she loved dinosaurs and wanted to be a paleontologist, just like Ross Geller in the tv show "Friends". Plus, Karolina found the alliteration to make it even funnier, and the fact that Gert hated it since she was not fond of Ross's "toxic masculinity".

**gert geller: hey chase and I decided to skip class and ur coming**

Karolina raised an eyebrow.

**karolina: do I have a say in that?**

**gert geller: no**

Her next class was study hall, so she could definitely afford to miss it. 

**karolina: is it just gonna be you and chase?**

That was her less obvious way of asking if Nico was gonna be there. Because if she was, then there was no way in hell that Karolina would go. Especially if Topher tagged along with her.

**gert geller: molly's coming. alex, topher, and nico's class next hour has a test. sorry your crush can't come :(**

Karolina rolled her eyes, and she couldn't help but chuckle a bit. Gert thought Topher was the only half of that couple she couldn't stand. Oh, how wrong she was.

**karolina: she’s not my crush for the millionth time. so what are we doing**

**gert geller: going to timely**

**karolina: that's it? lunch is soon anyway**

**gert geller: idc i didn't get my morning coffee and im not feeling it today**

**karolina: when are you ever feeling it?**

**gert geller: okay points were made, but I'm extra not feeling it. anyway, meet us in the north side parking lot after class**

Karolina laughed and let it go. She could relate. She was tired and confused and needed to take her mind off of everything.

After class, she went to the parking lot in question to find Gert, Chase, and Molly already together, waiting for her. Gert and Chase were leaning against Chase's car, kissing, while Molly stood awkwardly with her thumbs in her belt loops. 

Karolina decided to step in and rescue her. "Okay, I'm here. You guys can stop being gross now."

They ignored her.

"Guys!" Molly yelled, "Karolina's here! Let's go!" 

The two pulled away and looked at them.

"Oh, hey, Karolina. I didn't see you there," Gert joked.

Karolina scoffed. "Maybe if you stopped sucking face with Chase for two seconds you would've."

Molly giggled. "Sucking face with Chase. That should in a Dr. Seuss book. _Gert would not say hello to the lesbo, she was too busy sucking face with Chase_ ," she said in a narrator voice.

Karolina suddenly bursted out laughing, surprising everyone since they had witnessed her earlier moodiness. As long as she wasn't exposed to the other couple in their friend group, she could at least be mostly as happy and engaged as she used to be. "I hate being called 'lesbo', but I'll let it slide because that was really funny. And because you're also gay, but if someone who wasn't a lesbian ever called me that...," she looked over at Chase.

Chase narrowed his eyes. "That was one time. I didn't know it was offensive, okay?" 

"Don't worry," Gert said, "I sat him down one day and completely educated him on all that. He even got into a huge argument with someone who thought bisexuality was a 'phase' and that all bi people eventually 'pick a side', and he destroyed them."

Molly and Karolina nodded with impressed expressions.

"Good job, Stein. I didn't know you had it in you," Molly said. 

"I'm so much more educated than I was before I met Gert. It's unreal." He smiled down at his girlfriend proudly. Karolina always found it so cute how it never seemed like a chore to him. He was always so willing to learn as long as it was Gert teaching him, like he trusted her judgement over anyone else's. Karolina often wished she could one day have a relationship like theirs. In fact, they kind of reminded her of...

_'Nope,'_ Karolina thought, cutting that thought off before she could even finish thinking it. She refused to let both of the relationships in their friend group bring back those memories. Nico and Topher was inevitable, unfortunately. But there's no way she would let Gert and Chase bring her down too.

They all piled in Chase's car, and made their way to the coffee shop, which was also their designated hang out spot. They each ordered their food and drinks, and sat down at their usual booth right by the window.

"Gert, how many shots are in that again?" Karolina asked and pointed to her drink.

"Six, hence why I didn't let Chase pay for me."

Chase shrugged. "I still could've."

"You know I think that's heteronormative. Women are completely capable of paying for their own things."

Chase sighed. "Gert, I'm not trying to be political. I'm just trying to be a good boyfriend." 

"Here we go again," Molly mumbled and took a sip of her coffee.

"I know that, I'm just saying."

They continued to bicker while Karolina and Molly sat awkwardly across from them. Karolina got slightly startled when her phone vibrated in her pocket. She took it out, assuming that it was a text but getting confused when she didn't see any new messages. She only had her notifications turned on for two things, text messages and gmail. Did that mean Sister Grimm had already responded to her? If so, that was much quicker than usual. Karolina opened gmail to find that that was the case. In fact, there were two new emails from her.

_FROM: sistergrimm87@hotmail.com_  
_TO: lucyinthesky.withdiamonds@gmail.com_  
_DATE: Sep 13 at 11:53 AM_  
_SUBJECT: Re: school and life update_

_Lucy,_  
_Thank you so much for the support, I really appreciate it :) Also I'm sorry to hear about you and your friend. It's kind of funny, I'm in a similar situation as well. Me and my former best friend just barely tolerate each other now. It sucks but at the same time, It's for the best. Being too close to her just brings back bad memories. Especially since I was going through them at the same time as I was dealing with the death of my sister. But I hope that with your situation, you guys can make up._

_\- Sincerely, Sister Grimm_

_FROM: sistergrimm87@hotmail.com_  
_TO: lucyinthesky.withdiamonds@gmail.com_  
_DATE: Sep 13 at 11:54 AM_  
_SUBJECT: oops typo_

_I meant the death of my mom** haha sorry for the confusion_

"Is everything okay?" Molly asked Karolina who looked like a deer in headlights. 

Sister Grimm had a falling out with her best friend at the same time that Karolina did, and she might have just accidentally revealed that the family member who died was not her mom, but her sister the entire time. Which had to mean...

It was Nico.

It made so much sense. She couldn't say that her sister died, because everyone at their school knew, since it happened last year when her sister, Amy, was a senior. Nico was often referred to as "the girl who's sister died". If she would have given away that detail, Karolina would have known right off the bat. It was a way for her to vent about it without revealing who she was.

Karolina looked at Molly who's eyes were filled with concern.

"I-I have to go to the bathroom."


	2. Of All People (part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nico just royally screwed up and accidentally revealed herself to Lucy. Now we see her perspective picking up from the first chapter.

"Oh fuck... No, no, no," Nico mumbled to herself. She had just accidentally revealed a detail about herself that probably gave her identity away to her pen pal. 

She wasn't even sure why she didn't want her pen pal to know who she was. Probably because she had exposed her feelings and emotions about Amy's death (or, to Lucy, her mother's death) that she hadn't told anyone, which broke through her tough faćade she tried so desperately to keep up. 

Her brain racked through dozens of options. She could stop talking to her. She could say she got hacked. She could pretend that she mistyped. But she enjoyed talking to Lucy, and if someone were to hack her, they would probably send something a little more scandalous than that, so Lucy would probably know she was lying. So, the only option she could think of was to tell her she made a typo. Nico wasn't even sure she would believe that. Who would mistype that? That would be very disrespectful to the family member that died if she got them mixed up with someone else. Especially if was her own mother.

Nico sighed, knowing there were no better options. 

"None of this would've happened if there was an unsend button," she muttered as she typed up her bullshit excuse. 

She always thought that Lucy was the least careful of the two. For a while, she was. She accidentally revealed that she went to the same high school as Nico in one email. And another time, she told Nico the name of one of her teachers. Sometimes Nico contemplated waiting outside that teachers class, watching every student that walked out and seeing if any of them gave off the right energy to be Lucy. It was dumb, considering Nico had never even met Lucy, but she knew the type of energy she exuded. It was the type of energy that had always drawn Nico. She could be surprisingly spiritual sometimes.

"Is everything okay?" Her boyfriend, Topher asked from beside her. 

She quickly closed her email app on her phone and gave him a tight lipped smile. "Yeah, I was just... checking my grades."

"Are they that bad? You seemed really stressed."

Nico nodded, a little too quickly. "Yeah. It was my microbiology class. I'm not doing that well in it."

"Oh, don't you have that class with Karolina? Maybe she could help you out."

Something about him mentioning Karolina so casually was very strange to Nico. Ever since she started dating Topher a couple weeks ago, he had just acted like... _that_ had never even happened. But, he only knew a fraction of what went down. If he knew the full story, he would probably be acting differently. Her and Karolina definitely were. Things between them had been so weird the past couple weeks. Karolina wasn't even trying to hide her feelings about the situation. She was so irritable lately, especially when she was around Nico and/or Topher. 

Nico laughed. "That's not gonna happen."

"Oh, c'mon... You guys have to make up eventually."

She couldn't help but laugh again. "Nope."

"Well, the tension between you two kind of creates tension for the whole group."

Nico shot him a glare. "The group you've been a part of for, like, two weeks. So just drop it."

Topher put his hands up in defense and his eyes widened. "Alright... Guess that's still touchy," he said condescendingly, only angering her more. 

Without saying another word, she gathered up her things, and went to sit by Alex on the other side of the room, not even taking a second to gage her boyfriend's reaction.

She plopped down next to her friend, who was working on homework. Thankfully, the teacher had to leave to take care of something, so he wouldn't yell at her for distracting him.

Alex's gaze went from his paper to Nico curiously. "You okay?" He asked her, noticing her current frustration, on top of her change of mood throughout the last month. She seemed happy with Topher, but right before they started dating she was in a terrible mood for weeks for a reason she wouldn't tell anyone. And she still acted like that now, sometimes.

"No," she said curtly, "Topher's being annoying."

"How so?"

Nico knew she couldn't explain without informing him everything about her and Karolina. "I don't wanna talk about it," is all she said, not being able to come up with a fake reason.

Alex just studied her for a few moments, before shrugging his shoulders. "Okay. If you insist."

It was silent for a few minutes, Alex continuing his homework while Nico twiddled her thumbs, avoiding Topher's gaze who was probably looking at her in confusion.

Alex put down his pencil, and turned to look at her again. "If you don't mind me asking, is there some type of beef you and Karolina are having?"

She knew someone was eventually going to ask that question, but that didn't stop her eyes from getting as big as plates and her speech from stuttering.

"W-what? N-no! Why would you think that?" It came out more panicked than she intended, and she hoped Alex perceived it as her being so shocked someone would even think that her and her best friend were beefing instead of it being her terrible lying skills. Based off the look on his face, it was the latter.

"Well... You guys haven't really been talking and she glares at you when you're not looking, and vice versa."

Nico shook her head. "We just had an argument over something stupid. And now I'm just waiting for her to apologize to me." That was at least half true. It was definitely more than "something stupid", but Nico _was_ waiting for Karolina to apologize. But concurrently, Karolina was probably waiting for an apology from her as well. And she didn't see either of them giving in anytime soon.

"Anyway, I don't wanna talk about it anymore."

Alex continued to look at her suspiciously, making her want to move right back to the seat next to Topher, but decided against it. Part of her felt bad for treating her boyfriend the way she was, especially since they had only been dating for two weeks, and were still getting to know each other. But Topher had no right to act like he knew anything about her and her friends and her relationship with Karolina. He barely even knew any of them.

Thankfully, before Alex could question her any further, the teacher walked in and then proceeded his boring lecture in his monotone voice. Nico sighed and pulled out her phone, not having the mental energy to listen, much less be engaged in class. Meanwhile, Alex was sitting straight up with his eyes glued to the teacher, listening and retaining every word he said, as usual. And he wondered why Nico constantly made fun of him and called him a nerd.

She did her usual checking and scrolling through social media and she texted some of her friends, before she realized she had a notification on her email app. She looked at it, fairly surprised. It had to be Lucy. Nico didn't communicate with anyone else on that email, and she didn't use it for any accounts, so she never got spam. It's sole purpose was to communicate with Lucy, who rarely ever replied in the same day that Nico wrote to her.

She pressed on it, and read the email from her pen pal.

_FROM: lucyinthesky.withdiamonds@gmail.com_  
_TO: sistergrimm87@hotmail.com_  
_SUBJECT: let's get deep (if it's okay w/ you)_  
_DATE: Sep 13 at 12:01 PM_

_Sister Grimm,_  
_Thanks for clearing that up, I was confused haha. This is gonna sound kinda sudden and I highly doubt you'll agree, but I think we should open up to each other more. It feels really liberating and it's so much easier than talking to someone in real life. So, if you agree, you can vent to me about your situation with your friend, and I'll vent to you about my situation with mine. And we can also vent about whatever other problems come up. We don't have to, but I think it might be healthy._  
_\- Yours truly, Lucy_

That definitely was not what Nico was expecting the email to say. She thought Lucy would have been freaked out about how much deeper she seemed to get in each of her emails. Sometimes, trying to keep Amy's death inside her and not speak about it just became too much to bare, and Lucy became her outlet. And now she knows Lucy is comfortable with it, and that it will be mutual. Part of her was scared, but the other part wanted to so badly. Because now she has another stressor in her life that she can't talk about. Karolina.

_FROM: sistergrimm87@hotmail.com_  
_TO: lucyinthesky.withdiamonds@gmail.com_  
_SUBJECT: Re: let's get deep (if it's okay w/ you)_  
_DATE: Sep 13 at 12:06 PM_

_Lucy,_  
_I'm down. I think that would be good for me. I tend to keep things bottled up in real life. Soo I guess that I'll start?_  
_My friend- we'll call her "She who shall not be named", and I were best friends and attached at the hip. We did everything together. One day, I was talking to her about this guy I had a crush on, and she decides it's perfectly acceptable to kiss him. I don't know why. I don't even think she liked him. It's like she just did it to spite me and I don't know what I did to deserve it. But one month later and I'm dating that guy and now she hates me. Must be jealous._  
_What about you? Rant to me about your friend problem because I'm curious._  
_\- Sincerely, Sister Grimm_

The second she hit the send button, she felt like an immense weight on her chest had just been lifted. Even though she didn't reveal nearly everything and left out a lot of context, it still felt nice to finally tell someone her side of the story. She felt a little bad for implying that Karolina was jealous of her. She knew damn well that Karolina was jealous of Topher, but Karolina was one of the few openly lesbian students at their school, and everyone was aware of how close they were. If she told her pen pal that her best friend was a lesbian, it would be a lot easier for them to guess who she is.

Nico knew if they continued doing this, it was very likely they would both figure out who is who anyway. But Nico had wanted to know who Lucy is for a long time. It's Lucy finding out who she is that she had an issue with. But who knows? Maybe it would be worth it.

As soon as class ended, she offered a brief "see ya" to Alex, and zoomed out of the classroom as fast as possible, trying to avoid Topher.

"Nico, wait up!" She heard him call out.

She sighed and stopped in her tracks, standing in place until Topher approached her and put a hand on her shoulder. "What?"

"Look... I don't know what I said, but I'm sorry, okay?"

Nico scoffed. "Well, you should know."

Topher shifted awkwardly, trying for the life of him to figure out what had made Nico so mad at him.

Seeing him look so incredibly confused finally made Nico realize that he couldn't possibly know since he was so out of loop with everything. More so than any of her other friends. She knew she had to give him at least a tiny explanation so she could clarify why she was angry.

"I'm sorry," she said as she leaned into his side, "It's just... There's more to what happened between Karolina and I than you know. And it just kinda felt like you were trying to dictate how I should be feeling about it."

Topher frowned and put an arm around her shoulder. "I would never. I'm sorry if I made you feel that way."

She looked up and gave him a tiny smile.

"So to prevent that from happening again... What did happen between you and Karolina?" he asked. 

"I'm... not ready to talk about it."

He just nodded. "Okay. Just let me know when you are."

She smiled, not knowing if it was because of Topher or because that god forsaken subject could finally be dropped for a bit.

—

The next day at school while everyone ate breakfast together before the first bell, Karolina would not stop staring at Nico. And it wasn't her usual glare. She was looking at her in shock, as if Nico had come back from the dead or something.

"Um... Do I have something on my face?"

Karolina snapped out of her daze. "No, you're good." She looked away, but kept sneaking glances in her direction. Not very subtle glances.

"Oh, are you feeling any better today, Karolina?" Molly asked her. Nico looked at Karolina curiously, wondering what was supposedly wrong with her. Not that she was concerned or anything, though.

Karolina looked at her confusedly. "What do you mean?"

Molly tilted her head. "Do you not remember rushing into the bathroom yesterday at Timely and throwing up?"

"O-Oh!" Karolina exclaimed. Nico wondered how in the world she would forget something like that. "Yeah, I'm better. It was probably just the food or something."

"But you didn't even have a bite of your food before you threw up," Gert pointed out. 

"If you threw up, you probably shouldn't be here," Nico chimed in before Karolina could respond to Gert. Karolina looked at her slightly hurt.

"What? You could get someone sick," Nico clarified.

By the look on Karolina's face, she knew Nico didn't want her here for other reasons. Nico felt a twinge of guilt as she looked into Karolina's sad eyes.

"Yeah, you're right," Karolina agreed, "I'm feeling kind of nauseous." She stood up.

"You're leaving?" Chase asked her.

Karolina shook her head. "I'm just gonna go lay down in the nurse's office. If I don't feel any better then I might leave."

By her perfectly straight-up stance she still retained that her mother always forced her to have at her church, Nico knew she wasn't having stomach problems. 

"Gee, way to jinx it, Nico," Gert teased when Karolina left.

Topher laughed. "My girlfriend's a witch."

Nico laughed too, relieved that they didn't seem to pick up on Karolina's offense.

Molly was looking straight ahead, deep in thought, and she shook her head. "Something's up with her."

'God dammit, Molly,' Nico cursed in her head. Why couldn't anyone just let it go?

"We been knew," Gert responded.

"No, not just that. Like, yesterday. She was doing something on her phone, then all of a sudden she gets this weird look on her face like she just discovered she's been an alien her whole life."

Everyone stared at her strangely. 

"What? It was the first analogy that popped into my head, okay? But anyway... It just seems weird that she happened to be looking at her phone when she 'got sick'. I feel like she got bad news or something. I caught a glimpse of her phone, and it looked like she was checking an email."

Nico choked on her water a little bit. She cleared her throat, trying to play it off. "Weird question, but what kind of email account was it?"

Molly raised an eyebrow. "That is a weird question. Why does it matter?"

Nico shrugged. "I don't know, just curious."

"Um, I think it was gmail."

"What time did it happen?"

"Around noon, I think."

Nico nodded, attempting to look calm as all the gears were churning in her head. Could Karolina be Lucy? The thought crossed her mind more than once. Her writing style was a bit similar to how Karolina texted her, but email and text language wasn't quite the same, so it didn't seem right to assume. Though, Lucy was having issues with a friend the same time Nico was having issues with Karolina, and Karolina apparently got freaked out about something ten minutes after Nico screwed up and sent Lucy an email that revealed a too obvious detail about her life.

What if the "bad news" was Karolina finding out her pen pal was Nico? If Karolina was in fact Lucy, she probably would have known after Nico made that mistake and mentioned her dead sister. 

Oh no.

What if it was her?

Nico's leg started shaking incessantly and she began to check her email every minute, waiting for Lucy to send her something that could confirm or deny Nico's suspicions. 

"You okay?" Topher asked her. 

"Yeah, It's just my restless leg syndrome."

"Since when do you have restless leg syndrome?" Alex asked. 

"I don't know. Sometimes it acts up randomly." 

Much to Nico's gratitude, nobody questioned it.

A mere five minutes later, Nico received a notification from her email account. She didn't want to read it in front of everybody, but she also couldn't wait. She needed to know. 

Nico gathered up her trash and stood up. "I have to ask my teacher something about the upcoming test, so I'll see you guys later." 

They all said goodbye and she speed walked out of the cafeteria. Instead of going to her class, she rushed into the bathroom and went into a stall, wanting as much privacy as possible. She didn't know how she would react if what she was desperately hoping wasn't true, was. 

_FROM: lucyinthesky.withdiamonds@gmail.com_  
_TO: sistergrimm87@hotmail.com_  
_DATE: Sep 14 at 7:48 AM_  
_SUBJECT: here's my story_

_Sister Grimm,_  
_That's rough. I'm sorry to hear that your friendship might be ruined over a guy. That's like, the dumbest reason._  
_And with my situation, my friend (who I will also call "She who shall not be named"), used me. I'm just gonna come out (pun intended) and say it, finally. I'm gay. And she wanted to experiment. It eventually turned more intimate and I thought it was going somewhere, but it turns out she was just teasing me the entire time and she ran off to be with this guy she barely knew. So now, she who shall not be named and I are forced to be together all the time because we're in the same friend group. It's just a bad situation. I hope she comes to her senses soon and apologizes to me. But she probably thinks she's the victim. Anyway, thanks for indulging that rant._  
_\- Yours truly, Lucy_

And for the first time ever, Nico, who was always extremely careful with her phone, dropped it. Into the toilet.


	3. Partner Project

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that Karolina and Nico know their each other’s pen pals, they each have complete opposite ways of dealing with it. Karolina wants to avoid it, but Nico wants them to confront it.

"I think I need to get my phone fixed," Nico said as she lightly hit it against her hand as if that would somehow make it work better.

"Why?" Molly asked.

"She dropped it in the toilet," Topher informed her, earning a glare from Nico. 

"Nobody was supposed to know that," she scolded him.

"Let me get this straight," Alex said, "Nico Minoru, who literally treats her phone like a newborn child, dropped it? And into the toilet? How does that even happen?"

Nico sighed. "Just drop it guys, please."

Karolina just observed their banter, wondering if the reason Nico dropped it in the toilet was because she was so shocked from finding out that Karolina was her pen pal. Karolina had very intentionally been way too obvious in her last email. She was definitely regretting it now, since the tension between her and Nico was now five times worse. She had just wanted Nico to know her side of the story, and since they couldn't get themselves to talk about it in real life, she figured, why not? Maybe it would make Nico come around and finally apologize.

Her mind wandered back to the last email she received from Nico, where Nico had accused her of kissing Topher. It was true, but Karolina never would have kissed him out of spite in the first place if Nico hadn't been so wishy washy with her. If she wouldn't have acted like Karolina was the light of her world one minute and then the next ramble about how incredibly sexy Topher was, or how sexy any of the relatively attractive guys in their grade were. Seeing Nico bring that up yet completely disregard the way she had treated Karolina pissed her off so much that she typed up that last email in about two minutes and hit send without a second of hesitation.

As the topic switched, her eyes met Nico's. The look on the other girl's face was a mixture of anger and surprise, and Karolina was sure she looked the same way. She was still in shock. She probably would be for a while. Another thing she felt was disappointment. She was disappointed that the one person she felt like she could finally vent about her situation with Nico to, was Nico herself. Maybe if she had found out Nico was her pen pal a couple months ago, she would have been absolutely thrilled. But now, Nico was the last person she would want it to be. So, naturally, it had to be her.

"If you want a tutorial, check youtube," Nico's voice snapped Karolina out of her train of thought. She realized she had continued to stare at her the entire time and Nico had pulled out her makeup bag and was fixing her eyeliner. She remembered constantly telling Nico she should be a makeup artist youtuber because of how good she was at it. She used to do Karolina's makeup all the time, but now Karolina had to walk around with her decent but inferior makeup skills present on her face. 

"Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to stare," Karolina said quietly as she looked down at the table, focusing on a random smudge to prevent herself from staring intensely at Nico again.

"So I was watching 'I love Lucy' with my mom last night," Nico said to Karolina as she continued to perfectly apply her makeup, "She has a box of tapes she got from my grandma who adored that show. Have you ever watched it, Karolina?"

Karolina just looked at her up and down, wondering exactly what she was trying to do by bringing that up. Talking about a show from a half century ago was quite a stretch just to put the name "Lucy" out there, so clearly she was trying to get some type of reaction from her. "I can't say that I have." 

"It's pretty good. Then we had a nice chat while we played that one Beatles song in the background. What was it called again?" Nico pondered, clearly faking it by the way she dramatically tapped her finger against her chin. 

"Well, there's kind of a lot," Karolina muttered while looking down at her lap uncomfortably. "You'll have to be more specific." She decided to play dumb, not wanting their friends to pick up on the strange energy of their conversation. But luckily ( ~~I'm really good at warming you up~~ ) they were all conversing amongst themselves and probably didn't even notice them talking.

"It has a name in it. A girls name. And it has something to do with diamonds."

Karolina shrugged and plastered a fake smile on her face. "Doesn't ring a bell. Sorry."

Nico stared at her for a few moments, almost expectedly, like she was waiting for Karolina to bring it up. But talking to Nico was the last thing she wanted to do, much less talk about the fact that they had been anonymously writing to each other for seven years, in which she had talked poorly of Nico and Nico had done the same to her in their last several emails. It just seemed like a disaster waiting to happen.

After Nico continued to look at her, she eventually just shrugged and went back to her eyeliner. "Oh well. I'll think of it eventually. I have a friend I email that used to be pretty into the Beatles. She probably knows."

Karolina gave her that same fake smile. "Cool."

And with that, the conversation was over.

Karolina was on auto pilot as she finished hanging out with her friends (plus Nico and Topher) and walked to her next class. She couldn't stop trying to figure out what Nico's motive was. Was she just being petty? Was she trying to coax her into talking about it? Nico could be both petty and bold, so either seemed like a logical answer. Karolina just hoped she would drop it so they could move on and pretend it had never happened. She almost blocked Nico's email account the other day, but for some reason, she just couldn't get herself to do it. Karolina just felt wrong blocking the person she had talked to since they were ten. But she didn't even know if Nico would ever email her again. Why would she? 

Class was the same as usual. The teacher picked the absolute most boring way to explain the topics in the most uninterested voice (Karolina heard that he's been reusing the exact same lectures year after year which didn't surprise her in the slightest). And given that the lecture was not in any way appealing, her eyes were fixated on Nico's jet black hair which was done almost the same way as Rey from Star Wars. Damn her and her amazing hairstyles. They were so easy to draw ones eyes.

Throughout the lecture, Karolina occasionally checked her phone to see if Nico replied to her last email, but continued to find nothing. She wasn't sure if it was because Nico no longer wanted to associate with her in that way (or any way for that matter), or if the toilet she dropped it into prohibited her from being able to use her email app. 

Class continued on with the teacher talking while all the students spaced out or dozed off, until he announced a partner project. This was quite unusual since all his lectures were, just that, lectures. He never even assigned homework or made them do anything extra that wasn't just listening to his voice. The project called for two people to pair up and give a presentation on the steps of meiosis. It didn't sound too difficult, but it wouldn't hurt to pick someone who was smart and did well in the class, since Karolina didn't particularly excel in either of those criterias. Not that she was dumb, but she was probably just slightly above average intelligence. 

Karolina locked eyes with Klara Prast, a sweet, highly intelligent girl who was actually two grades below her. She was in the same grade as Molly, and Karolina remembered Molly mentioning she had a bit of a crush on her, so she could get a good grade and maybe even hook Molly up, too. Never mind that Molly would strangle her if it didn't work. 

They gave each other a little nod and started to walk towards one another. 

"Hey, Klara, wanna be m-"

"Karolina, wanna be partners?" 

Karolina's eyes widened. That wasn't Klara asking her. 

She turned to look at Nico, her mouth gaped open. "Um... What?"

"Oh," Klara said, seemingly surprised as well, "You guys can be partners. No biggie." She smiled at both of them and sauntered away to a shy girl in the back that was struggling to find someone.

"But..." Karolina uttered and reached out to her, earning a laugh from Nico. But not knowing if it was genuine or smug. Smug, most likely.

She turned back toward Nico who had a hint of a smile on her face, which creeped her out. Nico hadn't smiled at her in weeks. "You really wanna be partners with me?"

"Hm... Well, I approached you, looked straight at you and asked you if you wanted to be partners. So, based off all that, I'd say yes."

Karolina glared at her. "Okay, fine. No need to be condescending. Let's be partners, I guess."

Nico continued to smile at her in a smirky way. "Great. Wanna meet after school?"

 _'Not particularly,'_ Karolina thought.

"That works. We can meet in the library after class," she said before Nico could suggest one of their houses. If she had to spend time with Nico, it had to be in the most public setting possible. That way she could avoid talking to her without it being too awkward.

"Okay, but since we're doing it right after class I'll only be able to work on it for an hour at most. My brain will be fried."

Karolina nodded with a small chuckle. "Fine by me."

Nico raised an eyebrow. That was probably the first time Karolina had verbally expressed her disdain towards her.

"I mean, I'll be mentally exhausted too... So, that's fine."

She knew Nico didn't buy it, but why should she even care if Nico knew that she disliked her? It's not like Nico liked her either. And it's not like Nico even deserved to be liked by her. 

"Right... Anyway, I'll see you then." Immediately after finishing that sentence, Nico turns on her heel and walks back over to her seat. 

—

After a slow day of classes, Karolina was walking down the hall, on the way to the library to work on the presentation with her ex best friend who was also her anonymous E-pal since fifth grade. What had this week become?

"Hey, Karolina!" 

She turned around to find Gert sauntering up to her. 

"Hey, what's up?"

"Do you have any plans today? Me, Chase, Molly and Alex were gonna go bowling after school. And we're also gonna ask Nico and Topher."

Great, how would she explain herself out of this one to Gert who jumped to the assumption that Karolina had a crush on Nico every time she so much as breathed in her general direction?

"Um, I can't... And neither can Nico. At least not until, like, four."

Gert's brow furrowed. "Wait, why?"

"We may have... a partner project together..."

 _'Here it comes,'_ Karolina mentally groaned as a giant, knowing smile made its way to Gert's face. 

"Ah, the cliche partner project where two people who can't accept their feelings for each other get coincidentally paired up and start to fall in love with each other."

Karolina rolled her eyes at her sing-song tone. "Okay, first of all, we are not going to fall in love."

"Sure, Ja-"

"Second of all, Nico has a boyfriend. So, even if I did like her, why in the world would I try to infringe on that?"

Gert shrugged.

"And third of all, It's not that cliche because we weren't coincidentally paired up, she picked me. I did not pick her. Because I do not like her."

Gert crossed her arms, not looking convinced at all. "Mm hmm... So, when are you gonna tell me what happened between you two that made you 'not like her' so much?"

Karolina sighed, and leaned against a row of lockers. "I can't tell you."

"Why not?"

"Because..." Karolina let out a sigh. She knew she couldn't keep all of it bottled up forever. She had to give her _something_. "It has to do with something about Nico that she's not comfortable with anyone else knowing."

"Oh..." Gert leaned against the lockers as well, right next to her. "Well... Why didn't you just say so? I wouldn't have bugged you about it if you did. And everyone else would probably stop bugging you, too."

"I don't know... I felt like people would put things together and know what I'm talking about." 

Gert nodded. ".... Yeah," she said after a very long pause.

Karolina looked at her purple haired friend, a guilty look on her face. "You know, don't you?" 

Gert fiddled with her glasses. "I think I have a pretty good idea. But I'm not gonna say anything else about it."

Half of her felt good for kind of letting her in, but the other half felt guilty for Nico. Even though they weren't on good terms, Karolina at least respected her privacy. It's not like she intentionally was trying to give it away, though. Gert figured it out herself. Hell, she probably had already known. "Thank you."

"Of course," She placed her hands on both of Karolina's arms, looking her straight in the eyes. "And if you ever want to talk about it, you can always come to me, you know. You don't have to be specific, just let me in on how you're feeling and I'll try to make you feel better."

Karolina smiled and pulled her into a hug. "Thanks, Gert. You're the best."

"Yeah, I know," she said as she wrapped her arms around her. "Oh, and also...," she puts her mouth up to Karolina's ear and whispers, "I told you so."

Karolina immediately pushes her away. "Seriously? We were having a moment!"

Gert laughs and throws her head back towards the ceiling. "I'm sorry! I had to. But I'm done, I promise."

"You better be, or I'm gonna tell Chase that you've had a crush on him since freshman year." She remembered the days when Gert would constantly bring him up, usually in an annoyed way and calling him a "jock strap". Despite her clear annoyance with him, she brought him up way more often than was justified with how much she actually interacted with him. That had remained the same since the end of junior year when they finally stopped being stubborn and got together.

Gert narrows her eyes. "You wouldn't."

"But I would. I don't even know why you keep that from him. It's so cute!"

"It's embarrassing!" Gert yelled a little too loudly. She was quite notorious for not showing Chase all of the affection she secretly had for him. She only expressed a fraction of it. 

"What's embarrassing?" Chase asks, appearing out of absolutely nowhere and putting his arm around Gert's waist. 

Gert flinched. "Um..." Her eyes shot towards Karolina desperately.

"Oh, um..." She attempted to come up with something else, and remembered a boy in one of her classes releasing some gas during a quiz, and not quietly, for that matter. "Gert... farted really loudly during a quiz!"

Gert mouths 'WHAT?!' to her when Chase wasn't looking.

'I don't know,' Karolina mouths back when Chase looks down at his girlfriend amusedly.

He just laughs. "Well, if that isn't the sexiest thing I've ever heard."

Gert nodded quickly with a tight-lipped smile. "Yup. Pretty sexy. It wasn't even that loud, though... Nobody heard it." 

_'I definitely did,'_ Karolina thought. She was sitting right behind him. She had almost excused herself to the bathroom to escape the odor. 

"Yeah, okay. Do you need some pepto-bismol? The nurse probably has some." That comment earned him a hard punch to the arm. "Ow!"

"You just think you're soo cute, don't you?" 

"Kinda," he said, a conceited smile on his face. "But okay, okay, what were you guys actually talking about?" 

Gert groaned loudly. "The one time I actually want you to be oblivious, you're not!" She sighs heavily, and puts her hand on his shoulder, pulling him down so she could whisper in his ear.

A loving smile slowly makes its way to his face. "Aw, babe. That's not embarrassing. It's cute. And between you and me..." he gestures towards Karolina, "And... Karolina, I had a crush on you since then too."

"Aww, really?"

"Yeah."

Karolina smiled as they both kissed. Even though she was obviously happy for them, she couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy. Why did they have to be so perfect? Why couldn't she have something like that? There was a time where she thought her and Nico could escalate to something like that. But clearly, that never happened.

 _'Oh shit, Nico,'_ Karolina thought. She was probably starting to get impatient. 

"I have to go work on that project, I'll see you guys later, maybe."

"Okay, but just know that since Chase now knows about my long time crush on him, I no longer have anything to lose by teasing you," Gert pronounces. 

"Tease her about what?" Chase asks, only to get shushed by Gert.

Karolina narrows her eyes at her. 

"But I won't!" Gert exclaims with her hands up in surrender. "I wasn't even planning to. Honest."

"Good. See you guys later!"

She waved goodbye to them, and continued to walk down the hall towards the library, her heart pounding in her chest. She had no idea what to expect. She figured Nico would continue to be teasing and condescending, trying to get her to talk about their situation and apologize to her, even though Karolina felt that she was the one who deserved the apology.

When she walked in, she immediately caught eye of Nico in the back row of computers. She was always quite easy to spot with her gothic, extravagant outfits.

"Hey," Karolina said quietly as she sat down at the computer beside her. 

Nico gave her a small nod to acknowledge her presence, and she turned back towards her computer.

"So... Have you gotten started on anything?" Karolina asked.

"I'm just working on the title slide."

"Cool... So, what do you want me to work on?"

"You can write notes or something."

Nico clearly couldn't care less what she did, but Karolina decided to take on that role anyway.

For the next ten minutes, they sat in complete silence while Karolina did research and Nico worked on the aesthetic of the power point. It was no surprise to Karolina that it was very dark and gloomy looking. 

Karolina ripped off the first page of her notes and slid it over to Nico's desk. "Here, you can start adding that to the powerpoint if you'd like."

Nico wordlessly took the piece of paper and started copying her notes onto the powerpoint. 

They continued this for another half hour, until Nico decided she had enough.

"I guess I couldn't last an hour after all. Sorry, I was up late studying."

"It's fine." Karolina did a double take when she realized Nico had actually apologized to her. It wasn't an apology for the incident she was hoping for, but it was at least something. 

"I'll email it to you in case you wanna add to it. What's your email?" Nico asked her.

Karolina gave her her school email.

"Alright, sent."

Karolina went to her email she had opened in another tab on her computer and refreshed it, but found nothing. "Um, I don't think it went through."

"Look harder," Nico said cryptically as she stood up, packed up her things and walked away without saying anything else. 

Karolina looked at her, puzzled as she exited the library. She turned back to her computer and refreshed it a few more times, but it still wouldn't show up. She even checked her spam to see if it mistakenly got placed there. Nothing.

Karolina guessed it would take a little longer to go through on the school server, so she logged into her other email to see if Sister Grimm AKA Nico had replied to her while she waited on it. 

She had. But all she did was attach their powerpoint to it, while signing with her signature "Sincerely, Sister Grimm."

".... Seriously?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are gonna start to get very interesting :) I’m very excited and hope y’all are too!


	4. Tense Study Session

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nico gets her phone fixed by an unlikely person, and her and Karolina meet up again for their project. But it probably won’t go as smoothly as their first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: mention of attempted sexual assault
> 
> also, I changed the format for the emails bc I realized I didn’t like the way the teletype looked, so they will now be in italics. just letting y’all know so you dont get confused

"Do you wanna come with me to get my phone fixed?" Nico asked Topher who she was cuddling up to as they watched a movie in her bed.

"Can't you just ask your mom to fix it?" Topher questioned. "She's literally the inventor of your phone."

Nico shook her head against his chest. "Are you kidding? I don't want my mom snooping through my phone. I'm just gonna take it to the Wizard headquarters and have them fix it. And it's free for me, obviously, so it's not a big deal."

Topher shrugged. "Sure, why not? I don't care what we do as long as it's with you."

Nico smiled and leaned up so he could kiss her on the lips. 

Nico liked kissing Topher. He was one of the few guys at her school that actually took a great deal of pride in himself and his cleanliness. His lips were soft, he smelled nice, he had good oral hygiene. But she couldn't help but compare his kisses to Karolina's, who also had all the benefits listed, but they were somehow even better. And she hated herself for it.

They pulled away, and Nico went to stand up from her bed.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to Wizard, remember?"

Topher groaned and took her arm so she couldn't walk away. "Right now? But I was so comfortable!"

Nico rolled her eyes. "Toph, come on. You know me, I can't not use my phone for too long or I'll go crazy. I wanna get it fixed as soon as possible."

"Okayyy," Topher let go of her arm and stood up. "By the way, are you ever gonna tell me how you dropped it in the toilet? And aren't those things supposed to be water proof?"

If it was, It didn't do much good considering Nico was so shocked it probably took her a good twenty seconds to even realize it had fallen in the toilet. 

"They're um... Working on that. The next Wizard phone probably will be. But anyway, let's go."

Topher stared at her when he realized she had avoided his question again, and he followed her out of the house without saying anything. She had been getting very good at that lately, and was now able to do it very subtly, but he always noticed.

"So, how's that project with Karolina coming along?" Topher asked as he drove her to the Wizard headquarters. 

"Fine," was all Nico said, not even looking in his general direction as she was facing the window. 

"... So, you guys got randomly paired up?"

"No, I chose her." No use lying to him. She had been doing enough of it and she wasn't sure how much more she could handle.

Topher took his eyes off the road to look at her with widened eyes. "Really? I thought you two were on bad terms. You trying to make amends?"

Nico finally looked at him for the first time since they got in his car, and chuckled a bit. "Yeah, you could say that."

Even she wasn't entirely sure what she had been getting at when she picked Karolina. She just knew that they eventually needed to talk about it. Everything. But if someone was going to start the conversation, it would be Karolina. She at least owed Nico that.

"That's good! Hope it works out."

"Me too," Nico said, not knowing if she truly meant it or not.

They parked and walked into the Wizard headquarters. When they got to the electronic repair section, Nico was definitely not prepared to see who was behind the front counter. 

"Eiffel?" Despite being named after a beautiful and iconic landmark, she was a nightmare. She was never directly rude to Nico, but she had been an awful person to her friends, specifically Molly and Karolina. Well, not that Karolina was her friend anymore, but it was the principle.

And she was also Topher's ex girlfriend, so at this point she probably hated Nico too. 

The brunette looked up from her phone, and gave the two of them a fake smile. "Oh, hey guys." She looked at Topher with slight lust. "So, you two are still together, huh?"

"Yup," Nico said, popping the p.

"Wow, I didn't think you guys would last that long."

Nico shot a glare at her. "What is _that_ supposed to mean? And we've only been dating for like, two weeks."

"My point exactly," she said with a smirk and looked back down at her phone.

"You do realize I'm the daughter of the CEO of this company, right? Do you know how much power I have over you?"

Eiffel rolled her eyes. "Oh, Nico, calm down. I was just kidding. I don't care that you guys are dating. I'm over it. I wish you two a lifetime of happiness. Anyway," she put her hands on the end of the desk and leaned forward, "What can I help you with today?"

Nico blew out a breath, and walked up to her so she could set her phone on the counter. "My phone has water damage, and it's been acting up."

Eiffel nodded and picked it up to inspect it. "I see."

"So, how did you even get this job? It's pretty selective." She thought about adding 'no offense' to the end of that statement, but refrained because truthfully, she really didn't care whether Eiffel took offense to it or not.

She just chuckled in response. "You underestimate me. I'm actually very intelligent."

"... Wait a second," Nico said, "Did you convince my dad that we're friends so that he would hire you?" 

By the smirk on her face, she did. No wonder she had randomly asked Nico one day at school to take a selfie with her, even though they barely ever talked, and she posted it on instagram with the caption 'friends for life' with a large variety of heart emojis. She probably then showed it to Nico's dad when he was interviewing her. 

"Maybe," Eiffel said, "But, I feel like we're on good terms. So, you wouldn't tell him, right? I need this for my resume."

Nico crossed her arms. "I don't know, Eiffel. You weren't very nice to my friend Molly when she was the equipment manager for your dance team. And you gave Karolina shit for almost getting taken advantage of by Brandon and Lucas at that party. Like, seriously, who does that?! It wasn't in her control because she was passed out drunk! You should've gave Brandon and Lucas shit instead for being rapists." Defending Karolina felt extremely foreign to her, but she couldn't help it when it came to that specific situation. Only a terrible person, like Eiffel, would think that Karolina somehow deserved that. Nobody deserved that. But thankfully Chase had walked in and stopped it, but he had to fight them to get them away from her.

"Okay, first of all, I didn't know at the time that they tried to sexually assault her, okay? I thought it was consensual, and I gave her shit because it caused all that tension on the lacrosse team between them and Chase. But I don't blame her anymore, obviously, I blame them. And... I don't really have any excuse for the way I treated Molly. I was wrong, and I have an extra spot that isn't an equipment manager if she wants to try out again."

Nico turned around to look at Topher who was just as surprised as she was. Eiffel had actually sounded... genuine. 

She looked back at her. "Um... Cool, I'll let her know." Though, she highly doubted Molly would want to deal with her anymore. She at some point had seen the light.

"Soo... are we cool?" Eiffel questioned. 

Nico stared at her for a few long seconds, and slowly nodded her head. 

Eiffel flashed her a model-like smile. "Great, I'm glad. But anyway, we can probably get this fixed in a couple days. I'll just give it to your mom when it's ready."

Nico gave her a tight-lipped smile. "Cool. Well... see you at school."

"Tootles," Eiffel says too enthusiastically as she waves her fingers. 

Nico doesn't hide her judgmental expression as she backs away from the counter. 

When Nico turns around, Eiffel winks at Topher. He quickly looks aways and follows Nico out of the building. 

"Um, are you sure you trust her with your phone?" Topher asks.

"Yes, only because I don't have anything to hide." She shrugs. The only thing she would have to hide is her emails to Karolina, but she made sure to log out of her account so Eiffel couldn't access it. "Besides, she knows I could get her fired, so I highly doubt she would do anything to mess with me."

Topher nods. "Yeah, that's true. I just don't trust her for... obvious reasons." He was referring to Eiffel sexting Chase while they were together. Chase was with Gert, so he didn't reciprocate it and told her to stop, and even blocked her when she didn't. But Eiffel clearly was not as loyal.

They both plop back into Topher's car. 

"Do you wanna maybe go out to eat tonight or something?" He asked.

"Actually, I really should meet up with Karolina for this project. Maybe another day this week?" 

Topher furrowed his brows a bit. Nico was never the type to prioritize school work over her social life. But he wasn't gonna question her for being responsible. "Uh, yeah, for sure." 

"Also, can I borrow your phone? I need to text her."

He hands it to her, and she types in Karolina's number which she still knows by heart.

**nico: hey this is nico, I'm texting from topher's phone bc mine is getting repaired. do you wanna meet at my house to work on the project?**

**karolina: sure**

Nico couldn't help but frown at her out of character reply. Normally she would use at least one exclamation point and some happy face emoji. She texted like a mom that was trying to be fun and hip but wasn't aware that teens didn't text that enthusiastically, and Nico would always tease her about it, which Karolina took as a cue to text even more like a mom. 

**nico: wanna come by around 4?**

**karolina: okay**

And that was the end of that.

Once they arrive at her house, Nico almost immediately sends Topher home. He is disappointed and slightly confused. Even though they hadn't dated long, he can tell she's not as invested in their relationship as he is. But he always chalks it up to the way Nico is. It's hard to break through her thick walls. Which is true, but Nico's not sure if Topher would ever be able to do that. Only one other person, aside from her sister, had been successful.

Karolina showed up twenty minutes late, and instead if apologizing profusely as she would usually do, she says nothing aside from a quiet "hey" and invites herself in. 

They go to Nico's room and sit on her bed with her laptop in between them. 

Both of their minds flash back to the many memories they shared there. Having slumber parties, watching dumb movies and making fun of them, and then having different kinds of slumber parties... 

Nico cleared her throat before her mind could go too deep into those flashbacks. "Have you worked on it at all lately?"

Karolina shook her head, avoiding her gaze as she always did recently, staring down at Nico's comforter that was black with intricate white vines. "Have you?"

"Nope." And not only because she hadn't felt like it, but because she wanted to work with Karolina as much as possible so maybe she could finally get that goddamn apology out of her. "Should we just go about this the same way as last time?"

"That works."

And so they did. Sitting in awkward silence yet again. Nico tried to come up with a way to urge Karolina to talk about their emails without directly bringing them up, but there's only so many ways to subtly mention the name "Lucy". And there were virtually no ways to mention the name “Sister Grimm”. 

After she struggled to come up with anything, her brain then hatched an idea. She pulled up her spotify account on her laptop while Karolina did research on her phone. She searched the song she was looking for, and pressed play.

_Picture yourself in a boat on a river_  
_With tangerine trees and marmalade skies_  
_Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly_  
_A girl with kaleidoscope eyes_

Karolina visible tensed, but didn't take her eyes away from her phone. Nico almost felt bad seeing how uncomfortable it made her, but if it could get Karolina to finally talk to her, maybe it had to be done.

_Cellophane flowers of yellow and green_  
_Towering over your head_  
_Look for the girl with the sun in her eyes_  
_And she's gone_

_Lucy in the sky with diamonds_  
_Lucy in the sky with diamonds_  
_Lucy in the sky with diamonds_

"I just really like this song," Nico lied. She really didn't. It was not her style at all and she wondered what Karolina saw in it when she decided to name her email after it. 

"It's okay," Karolina mumbled, still not looking up, "I have to go to the bathroom."

"First door on the-"

"I know where it is." She speed walked out of Nico's room. 

About ten minutes later, it was obvious she was taking her sweet time to avoid Nico. But Nico wouldn't let distance stop her from getting her point across.

_FROM: sistergrimm87@hotmail.com_  
_TO: lucyinthesky.withdiamonds@gmail.com_  
_SUBJECT: what gives?_  
_DATE: Sep 17 at 4:49 PM_

_Lucy,_  
_What's wrong, did you not like my song choice? I figured you of all people would. ;)_  
_\- Sincerely, Sister Grimm_

After about ten seconds of hesitation, she hit send. 

Karolina was in the bathroom for another five minutes, until Nico finally heard the toilet flush and the sink turn on and Karolina's footsteps approaching her room. Karolina turned the corner into Nico's room, looking even more tense than before. She slowly sat beside Nico on her bed.

Nico waited for her to say something, but no words came. 

Nico almost sighed in frustration. "I'm gonna go get water-"

"What exactly are you trying to do, Nico?!" Karolina practically shouted, making Nico flinch and almost fall off the bed with how sudden it was. Thankfully Nico's parents were both working and away from home. "What was the point of that? Of _all_ this?!"

Nico blinked at her. Even though this is kind of what she was hoping for, it was still very surprising. 

"Can you just say something?" Karolina begged, "I can't deal with this sick game of yours anymore."

Karolina's words made Nico's mind finally catch up. The expression in her eyes changed from shock to anger in mere seconds. "There's a point to my 'sick game', so you can apologize for YOUR sick game!"

As soon as Karolina's mouth dropped and her baby blue eyes darkened into gray rainclouds, Nico knew she had done it. She had never seen Karolina look like that.

"M... MY sick game?! Do you even hear yourself right now?" She shot up from Nico's bed. "Do you not remember anything that happened between us?!?" Karolina screamed, her face red. "The way you led me on and made me feel like you cared about me one minute and then treated me like your sex toy the next?"

Nico's nostrils flared. "Oh, don't act like you're the only victim. Have you considered maybe the reason I distanced myself from you emotionally is because you constantly pressured me to have my sexuality figured out when I was still only discovering it?! Do you know how stressed out that made me? Especially after losing Amy?! I told you at the start that I didn't want anything serious, and you were fine with it, but then when I would just mention how I find any other human being attractive, you would get all petty and make me feel like a bad person!"

Karolina laughed. "Oh, you didn't want anything serious? Well, I guess Topher is an exception. He must be pretty great. SO much better than me."

"Hey, remember when you kissed him? That was pretty fucked up. I never kissed anyone when we were... whatever we were. Yet somehow _I'm_ the bad guy because I would make a comment about his arms or jawline from time to time around you? Flawless logic."

"What does it matter to you, anyway?" Karolina asked, in a more calm kind of anger, which was almost scarier, "I clearly never mattered to you, considering you moved on in only two weeks. Actually, probably even earlier than that. Unless you became boyfriend and girlfriend immediately, or you guys already had a thing when we were..."

Nico groaned and slapped her palm against her forehead. "No, that wasn't the case. And even if it was, you and I weren't dating, Karolina. I could've gone out with anyone I wanted."

"... You're right. I was dumb to ever think you wanted anything more. I was just setting myself up for loss." Karolina aggressively grabbed all her belongings and started to walk out.

"Karrie," Nico uttered her old nickname and reached out to her, not understanding why she said it or what urged her to. 

" _Don't_ call me that... Please." Her face was away from Nico, but by her fragile voice, Nico knew she was starting to cry. 

Nico stood helplessly as Karolina stomped out of her room, and out of her house. 

She walked over to her head dresser which had three framed pictures on it. One of her and her parents, one of her and Amy, and the third of her and Karolina. They were in their special spot they used to always go to. It was the river deep in the woods between their houses. They were sitting on a blanket and having a picnic, which was a tradition they tried to do as least once every couple of months. Karolina was holding the camera and Nico had her arms wrapped around her neck and her chin rested on Karolina's shoulder. They looked so happy. So content with each other. But now, all of that was gone.

The glass of the frame shattered against Nico's closet door that she threw it into, and fell to the ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... forgive me. I promise everything will be okay in the end.


	5. Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After fighting with Nico, Karolina looks back and discovers that she maybe wasn’t the only victim in their relationship.

Karolina couldn't stop the tears from running down her face. She was so angry. So, so angry. But she was also confused. Because as soon as Nico had called her that nickname with such gentleness like she always used to, Karolina was putty in her hands again, and she despised it. She had such a large urge to go right back to Nico's house and apologize for everything just so they could be back to the way they used to be. Karolina didn't care if they would never be more than friends ever again. She just knew she needed her in some way. 

She snatched her phone out of her pocket and called the only person she could think to. The only person who would understand and who knew what was going on.

"Hey, I keep telling you to just text me, you know I hate talking on the pho-"

"Are you busy?" Karolina asked, immediately cutting Gert off, "I... I need company. And I want to talk to you about something."

"Oh," Gert uttered as soon as she picked up on the urgency in Karolina's voice, "Of course. Come on over."

"Thanks."

When she arrived at Gert's house, the girl was waiting for her on the front porch and she gave her a small reassuring smile as Karolina approached her with a somber face. 

"Do you wanna talk out here? It'll give us more privacy since my parents and Molly are in the house."

Karolina nodded, staring down at her feet, "Yeah, that's fine," she mumbled. 

Gert frowned seeing her friend so upset and she led Karolina to a chair, and sat in the one beside it. "Tell me whenever you're ready."

Karolina took a deep breath that hitched due to her crying no more than ten minutes ago. "It's... It's Nico."

Gert nodded understandingly like she knew. "What about Nico?" 

Karolina slumped into her chair and played with the strings of her jacket. "She... She and I..." 

Karolina suddenly remembered that it wasn't in her place to out Nico. She never should have come and prepared to explain it all to Gert. What was she thinking? Nico's voice during their argument replayed in her mind, specifically the part where she said Karolina had made her feel pressured to be secure in her sexuality when she wasn't ready. Maybe she was right. And telling Gert would make it even worse.

She stood up so quickly that she got a head rush, "You know what? Never mind. I can't tell you. This was a mistake." 

She started walking to her car, until what Gert said next stopped her dead in her tracks.

"Telling me won't change anything, Karolina. I know. I know you and Nico had some type of relationship beyond being friends. I knew that before you implied it the other day. And I know Topher has something to do with all of it."

Karolina slowly turned around in surprise. She had a feeling Gert was suspicious about her and Nico, but she didn't know she had picked up on quite that much. "Oh..." Was all Karolina said.

"So, telling me isn't gonna out Nico, okay? Because I know. I've known for a while. So just please... Tell me so I can make you feel better. I know it's destroying you..."

Karolina felt tears start to build up again because of how right that statement was. It was destroying her. So much that Gert was being the kindest and most supportive that Karolina had ever seen her. 

"O-Okay," Karolina said, and slowly sat back down again. She sighed heavily. "I, um... I guess I'll start at the beginning of this whole thing."

—

_For the last few days, Nico had been acting very timid and withdrawn, which was extremely out of character. She was always so confident and bold. So naturally, Karolina was very concerned._

_"Nico, you okay?" She asked, noticing the other girl staring down at her coffee for the last few minutes and not contributing to their friends' discussion at all._

_Nico only nodded, but the expression on her face told Karolina she was lying._

_Alex took a sip of his coffee and cringed. "Ooh, that's way too strong."_

_"Then maybe you shouldn't have gotten so many shots of espresso," Molly advised, "Only Nico can handle Coffee that strong."_

_Everyone looked at Nico, who wasn't even paying attention. She was too busy playing with her stir stick."_

_"Why do you even need that much caffeine, anyway?" Karolina asked him, mostly to bring the attention away from Nico since she knew people would question her behavior, which Nico hated._

_Alex chuckled. "Oh, um... I may or may not have stayed up till 4 AM playing Fortnite..."_

_Everyone looked at Nico once again, expecting some snarky remark about how big of a nerd he was, but nothing. She still seemed to be in a different world, because she would never miss an opportunity to make fun of Alex (and if she had ever missed a chance to make fun of Chase, that would be an emergency)._

_Once the group dispersed, leaving only Karolina and Nico, Karolina took the opportunity to get to the bottom of what made her best friend so upset._

_"Nico, you can tell me anything. You know that, right?" She asked, trying to convey it even more with her eyes. It seemed to work, because Nico visibly relaxed._

_"I know..." she answered, "I... Okay, um, here's the thing..."_

_Karolina tried and thankfully succeeded in hiding her shock that Nico was not only going to tell her what was bothering her, but that soon. She was never good at talking about her feelings._

_She ran through all the things Nico might tell her in her head. Maybe she was sad about Amy. Maybe her parents were getting divorced. Maybe she was pregnant._

_"I've been meaning to ask you... if you'd be willing to experiment with me?"_

_That was definitely not one of the possibilities that went through her mind._

_"W-what?" Karolina asked astoundingly. Was her best friend and crush actually asking her to experiment with her? The thought of being intimate with Nico sounded way too good to be true._

_"I've... I've been questioning my sexuality lately. And you're the only gay girl that I know well enough to feel comfortable asking... Well, actually, I still feel extremely uncomfortable asking you this, and if this makes you feel uncomfortable please let me know and we can pretend that this never even happened."_

_Karolina could only stare and barely nod along to what Nico was saying with her mouth slightly agape._

_Nico looked nervous about her silence. "Karrie? Please say something."_

_"Oh, sorry, I just... That's, um, a lot to take in..."_

_Nico rubbed the back of her neck, "Yeah... You're right. I'm sorry. I, um..." she then turned around and started speed walking away._

_"Nico, wait!" Karolina called after her and quickly approached her._

_Nico turned around, looking at her with a nervous gaze. "Yeah?"_

_Karolina didn't know what to say. She didn't know how to answer her question. On one hand, she would get to kiss and have sex with Nico which is something she had wanted for years, but on the other hand, could she really handle only having her in a sexual way? Sure, there's the chance that Nico could realize she's not straight and she could fall for Karolina, but it wasn't for certain. Was it really worth the risk?_

_"Yes."_

_She felt her mind screaming at her, telling her she made a huge mistake and she was going to regret it later. That it could ruin their friendship. But she tuned it out._

_Nico's eyebrows raised and her eyes got big. "Wait, really? You don't think it will make things weird?"_

_Karolina shook her head. "No, as long as we don't make it weird."_

_"But, are you okay with it? Is it weird for you?"_

_Of course she was okay with it._

_Karolina shrugged. "I don't mind, really. I understand how confused you might be. I've been there, and I want to help you out," she told her with a kind smile. It was true. Sure, she was also doing it because it was something she craved, but she also cared about Nico feeling comfortable in her sexuality. She remembered how confused she was when she was staring to come to terms with being gay, and it wasn't fun. Although, she didn't think experimenting or even doing anything at all with the same sex was necessary to know, but everyone was different and if Nico felt she needed that to know, Karolina would provide._

_Nico smiled back at her. "You're so amazing," she said and stood on her toes to wrap her arms around Karolina's shoulders. "And like I said, you can back out anytime. No pressure."_

_Karolina knew that if anyone was going to back out, it would be Nico._

_And she wasn't exactly wrong._

—

Karolina looked over at Gert to gage her reaction, only to find she didn't have one.

"I knew it," Gert said without an ounce of surprise, "I knew there was something more between you two."

Before Karolina could say anything, Gert's father, Dale, opened the front door and asked Gert to assist him with some experiment. Her parents were scientists. 

"Don't let her damage her eyeball again," Karolina somehow managed to joke.

Dale pointed at her accusingly. "Hey, we've been over this. I told her over and over to wear safety goggles but she didn't listen to me. She thought her glasses were enough protection, which, they clearly weren't. So, not my fault,” he said childishly.

Karolina laughed a little bit. She had always loved Gert’s parents.

Gert rolled her eyes. "Can we just let that go? I know better now."

They continued to bicker as they walked off the porch and into the house, closing the front door on the way, leaving Karolina alone.

She pulled out her phone, and took a deep breath when she saw she had a gmail notification. That could only mean one thing.

She wondered what Nico said to her. Was she apologizing? Was she continuing their argument that Karolina stormed out of? That wouldn't fit with how she had acted towards the end of it, but Karolina wouldn't put it past her.

She stared at it for a full minute, and finally got the courage to open it.

_FROM: sistergrimm87@hotmail.com_  
_TO: lucyinthesky.withdiamonds@gmail.com_  
_SUBJECT:_  
_DATE: Sep 17 at 5:17 PM_

_Lucy,_  
_I just had a huge fight with She who shall not be named. I feel really bad. I had found out something about her that I wanted her to talk about, but she wouldn't, so I decided to be teasing and condescending to pressure her into it, which I now realize was super fucked up. I feel really bad. And not only about that, but about everything._  
_I'm sure she feels bad, too. When we were experimenting, she would rush me into having my sexuality figured out, which caused me a lot of stress. It was especially hard since I was still grieving my sister- well, still AM grieving my sister. Being confused about your sexuality AND mourning a dead family member? Not a great combination._  
_So, I'm sure she would feel bad about it if I told her how it affected me. And I'm sure if she told me what was going on in her head, I would feel even worse than I do now. Because I know I wasn't the greatest to her either. I didn't realize how bad I was until our argument, and I kind of want to make amends. I just hope she wants the same._  
_\- Sincerely, Sister Grimm_

Once she finished reading it, and rereading it, she turned her phone off and calmly set it beside her. 

The words in the email were engrained in her mind. Had she really been pressuring Nico that much? She knew she had been a little bit, because she wanted Nico to finally realize her feelings towards her so she could stop treating her the way she did. But Nico was confused, and looking back, Karolina was starting to realize just how wrong she was for it.

—

_"Who do you think is hotter, Anne Hathaway or Sandra Bullock?" Karolina asked Nico who she was watching Oceans 8 with._

_Nico shifted uncomfortably. "Um, I don't know... They're both pretty," is all she said._

_Karolina looked at her almost disappointingly. "That's it?"_

_Nico was confused. "What?"_

_Karolina paused the movie so she could focus on Nico. "Can I ask you something?"_

_Nico looked hesitant, but nodded anyway._

_"Why do you always act uncomfortable when I ask you, or even talk to you about other girls? Aren't you bi?"_

_Nico looked down at her fidgeting hands. "I-I don't know. I don't really know what I am yet."_

_Karolina only nodded, not seeming totally satisfied with her answer. Normally, she would be completely supportive, but she was starting to get tired of Nico acting like she was super into her one day and then treating her like she's just a fuck buddy the next. She was testing her, trying to see if there was any hope for Nico to finally come to terms with her sexuality so they could maybe become more, or at least have a healthier dynamic._

_"Well, based off of what we did ten minutes ago, we know you're at least not straight."_

_She said it to be funny, but she didn't see Nico's insecure expression that her words caused._

—

_"Mm, Karolina," Nico mumbled against her lips, and gently tried to push her off of her._

_Once Karolina felt Nico pulling away, she immediately rolled off of her and looked at her in concern. "Is everything okay?"_

_Nico sat up, out of breath. She looked stressed, and guilty. "I don't wanna do this anymore."_

_Karolina nodded. "Okay, that's fine. I'm kind of tired, anyway. Should I come tomorr-"_

_"No, Karrie," Nico interrupted her firmly, "All of this," she clarified and gestured to the two of them naked in her bed, "It's not necessary anymore."_

_Karolina felt a twinge of faith. Had Nico finally realized she liked girls? Was there hope for her?_

_"I'm not bi, I'm straight. I finally just realized it."_

_Karolina felt her heart almost shatter._

_"What?"_

_"I'm straight," Nico repeated, "I guess you're just really good at this so, I thought maybe I was bi since I actually kind of liked it, but I don’t think that's the case."_

_Karolina couldn't even comprehend Nico complimenting how she was in bed, she was too angry._

_"So... That's it? You were literally screaming my name so loudly I thought my neighbors would hear you, and now you're saying you weren't into it?"_

_Nico looked a bit shocked by the bite in Karolina's voice. "Are you mad at me?"_

_"Kind of!" Karolina said, raising her voice, "I'm mad that you're lying to yourself."_

_Now Nico was offended. "Excuse me? What do you know?"_

_"I'm you're best friend, I know a lot! I know you were into it, I know the way you look at me isn't just the way someone looks at their friend, and I know you know that I look at you the same way."_

_"Look, Karrie, this was just to experiment, nothing more. You knew that going into it. And, you're wrong. I didn't know that, so I'm sorry if I led you on. It wasn't intentional."_

_"So... You're really telling me that you're straight and don't feel the same way?" Karolina asked._

_Nico nodded. "That's what I'm saying."_

_Karolina rolled her eyes. "Yeah, right. You're straight as a ruler, but one of those bendy rulers."_

_"What is your problem?!" Nico was yelling at this point, "Will you please just respect it and stop trying to dictate what my sexuality should be?"_

_"I'm only telling you what it already is," Karolina quipped as she stood up and started putting her clothes back on._

_Nico pointed to her door with a very unimpressed face. "Get out."_

_"I'm working on it."_

_Once she was fully dressed, she left without saying another word to her._

—

Karolina groaned and buried her face into her hands. 

_'I was so awful,'_ she thought.

She should've known that Nico was dealing with insecurities and compulsory heterosexuality. She should know that better than anyone with how religious her parents were. They literally ran a whole church. Karolina was an expert when it came to that. She should have accepted Nico's methods of feeling more secure with her sexuality and made sure she felt comfortable enough to eventually come out. But instead, she had made it worse.

Karolina jumped up about a foot in the air when the front door opened, and Gert walked out.

She had completely forgotten where she was.

"Hey, sorry about that. He and mom are really into this new project," Gert said and sat back down beside her.

"It's okay."

"You okay?" Gert asked, noticing the guilty look on her face.

"Yeah," Karolina said quietly, "Will you excuse me? I need to get something out of my car really quick." 

"Yeah, sure."

Karolina got up and jogged over to her car and sat down, closing the door behind her. She pulled up her email account.

"I need to fix this."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not too much happened, but I hope you all liked finding out a little bit about what went down between deanoru. You’ll find out everything else next chapter but through Nico’s point of view :)


	6. Memories (part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And finally, everything that happened between deanoru gets revealed.

_FROM: lucyinthesky.withdiamonds@gmail.com_  
_TO: sistergrimm87@hotmail.com_  
_SUBJECT: Re:_  
_DATE: Sep 17 at 5:37 PM_

_Sister Grimm,_  
_I also got into a fight with She who shall not be named. It wasn't pretty. I don't completely blame her, I should've confronted her about it instead of avoiding it. But, she probably could've just brought it up instead of being such a tease about it. We were both in the wrong. And not just about that, but about everything that went down between us._

_I thought I was more of the victim in the situation, but I now realize we both were. I should have been more patient with her and I shouldn't have made her feel pressured to know what her sexuality is right away. But, she also shouldn't have been so wishy washy with me and made me think she actually liked me that way, just for me to get my hopes up. I know it wasn't intentional and that she didn't realize she was doing it, but it still hurt. A lot._

_I really wanna apologize to her for the way I treated her. I had some lapses in judgment, and I know she did too. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I really wish we could finally put this all behind us._

_Yours truly, Lucy_

Nico read Karolina's words with a feeling of guilt, which she never thought she would feel for her. 

Perhaps Nico could also have been the bad guy in their relationship in a way. And as she looked back at their time together, she felt like an idiot for not seeing it before.

—

_Nico sighed in content, laying naked with the only form of cover being Karolina's silk sheets. Karolina layed beside her, her neck still arched and her eyes still closed, like she was holding on to the moment as long as possible._

_"That was the best so far," Karolina breathed, and opened her eyes to smile at Nico._

_Nico smirked at her. "The best with me? Or the best you've ever had in general?"_

_"Yes."_

_Nico laughed, and turned on her side to face her, prompting Karolina to do the same._

_"You know," Nico started and reached out to stroke Karolina's arm, "I thought this was gonna be weird, but it's really not. I feel so comfortable with you."_

_Karolina smiled and Nico somehow missed her obvious blush. "And why is that?" She asked her softly._

_Nico shrugged. "Because. Your warmth and openness. That's everything that I like about you," she said,  
looking at her with what could only be described as love. _

_Karolina's smile only continued to widen, feeling like it was reaching her ears at this point. Nico had been so sentimental lately. Could this mean that she was beginning to develop feelings for her?_

_"Nico... I-"_

_Before she could say whatever it was that her subconscious was about to force out of her, Nico's phone went off._

_"Oh, sorry, hold that thought," Nico said and started looking around for it, "That could be my dad freaking out about where I am."_

_Karolina couldn't tell if she was disappointed or relieved about being interrupted._

_Nico found it tangled in the sheets and turned it on. She smiled at her phone, so it definitely wasn't her dad._

_"Who is it?" Karolina wondered, a hint of jealousy in her voice._

_"It's Topher, I gave him my number the other day. I never thought he would actually text me, though, he's so hot."_

_Karolina could only stare at her in bewilderment. How could Nico go from fucking Karolina and talking about what she liked about her with a love-filled gaze to acting like a giddy school girl about someone else two seconds later?_

_The mood of her thoughts must have been present on her face, considering Nico looked up at her with concern. "Are you okay?"_

_"Hm? Oh, yeah... fine," Karolina told her quietly, "I'm gonna go get something to drink."_

_She pulled the covers off of herself, and walked over to her door._

_"Um," Nico uttered, flustered, "Do you maybe wanna put your clothes back on first?" She tried her best to look away, but it proved to be very difficult._

_"Nah, I'm good," Karolina said with a hint of anger, and left her room, leaving Nico alone and wondering why she was in such a rush to get away from her that she didn't even bother getting dressed._

—

_"Happy birthday!" Nico heard from behind her as she opened up her locker. She turned around to find Karolina with a big smile and a wrapped box in her hands._

_"Karrie, you didn't have to get me anything..." Nico said._

_Karolina moved her hand up and down as if she was swatting away her words. "Nonsense. It's the least I could do after you bought me that really expensive bracelet for my birthday last year."_

_Nico did a similar motion with her hand. "Oh, It wasn't that expensive."_

_Karolina shook her head. "Don't be so humble," she shoved the box into Nico's arms, "Now open it!"_

_Nico laughed, "Okay, okay." She flipped the lid open, and found four delectable cupcakes with black frosting in the shape of a rose and each topped with a different color of edible glitter, red, white, purple, and yellow._

_"Oh my god," Nico gasped, "Are these from that super fancy cupcake shop I kept telling you I wanted to try?"_

_Karolina nodded happily. "They sure are. And the design is something you reblogged on tumblr a little while ago. I mean... Not that I stalked through your blog, I just screenshot it and kinda had this idea for a while..." she said awkwardly, "Um, sorry, it's not much. I'm kind of tight on money right now since me and my family went on that trip-"_

_"Karrie," Nico interrupted her with an assuring smile, "It's more than enough," she held the box out toward her, "Now take one."_

_Karolina shook her head. "No, they're for you."_

_Nico gave her a glare that said 'just take a cupcake so we can enjoy this present together, dammit!'. It's amazing how Nico could be so caring but so intimidating about it._

_Karolina chuckled. "Well... If you insist." It was obvious by the tone of her voice that she was secretly hoping Nico would offer her one. She had almost bought a box for herself._

_Naturally, Karolina grabbed the one with the yellow glitter on it, and Nico grabbed the one with the white glitter. They both shared a look, and took a bite out of them at the same time._

_"Ohhhh," Nico moaned, sounding exactly like she had in Karolina's bed the other night, which made Karolina blush, "If Jesus was a flavor, it would be this."_

_Karolina laughed and wiped some frosting off her lips. "Says the witch."_

_"That's just how good it is. Thank you so much."_

_"You're welcome." Karolina shyly looked down at her feet. "And um... There's also something else."_

_Nico's eyes widened a bit as she took another bite of her cupcake, and she took it away from her mouth, leaving frosting on her lips. Karolina wished she could've kissed it off._

_"Oh... Really?"_

_Karolina nodded. "Yeah. It's something I made. It's almost finished, and when it's done I'll..." Her voice trailed off once she realized she no longer had Nico's attention. She was looking at something over Karolina's shoulder. Karolina turned around to find none other than Topher who was eyeing Nico from across the hallway. He made a 'come here' gesture, and Karolina turned her attention back to Nico to see her smiling bashfully._

_"... Like I was saying, I'll send it to you, probably over text-"_

_"Okay, sounds good!" Nico cut her off, and starting walking over to Topher. "See you later, Karrie. And thanks again for the cupcakes!"_

_Karolina watched dejectedly as Nico ditched her and gave Topher one of **her** cupcakes. What did he do to deserve one? What was so goddamn great about him?_

_Karolina sighed and sulked away to her next class._

_Later after school, Nico was laying in her bed and texting Topher, talking about something funny he had said when she walked with him earlier that day._

_In the middle of waiting for a reply from him, Nico received a text from Karolina. It was a link to a spotify playlist. It must have been the other present Karolina was talking about._

_Nico wasn't exactly expecting that to be what Karolina would make for her, but she gave her the benefit of the doubt and opened the link and started listening to it._

Just your love  
Just your shadow  
Just your voice  
And my soul

My name on your lips  
Your air in my lungs  
Drowned in oxygen  
Now you've set the scene  
High on intimacy  
Drawing me a bath

_Nico was immediately surprised by the romantic quality of the very first song. Was Karolina trying to tell her something?_

_She went to the next song._

Lay down your slow  
Come settle down, settle down  
Let loose your glow  
Come settle down, settle down

And I feel life for the very first time  
Love in my arms, and the sun in my eyes  
I feel safe in the 5am light  
You carry my fears as the heavens set fire

_She shook her head and skipped to the next song._

So I keep waiting to touch somebody  
Keep you closer, on my body  
To love somebody  
To kiss somebody  
I wanna touch somebody  
'Cause I love somebody

Come on baby, give me good love  
Sometimes touch just isn't enough  
Come on baby, give me good love  
Sometimes touch just isn't enough

_As she went from romantic song to romantic song, she finally knew that this was Karolina's way of telling Nico that she wanted to be more than just physical. No wonder she had been so adamant about Nico figuring out her sexuality, which Nico still wasn’t happy about, but it made sense._

_Nico felt a tear run down her cheek. Karolina cared about her so much, and she had been using her and ignoring her for Topher. How had she not seen it till then?_

—

Nico sighed and shut her laptop. She turned over in her bed and stared at the ceiling. 

“I was so bad...” She said out loud, and groaned, lightly slapping her hand to her brow. 

That was also the day Nico had finally figured her feelings out. But unfortunately, it had been too late.

—

_Nico thought back to all the times she had spent with Karolina. She thought back to when she had first met the girl when they were both six years old. When she had been exploring the woods in her backyard, and ran into a girl her age with shiny blonde hair and blue eyes. They explored the woods together, making up worlds and adventures and instantly becoming friends. Eventually, they came across a beautiful river, and claimed it as their special spot, even bringing a sign one day that was still probably up. They had vowed to meet at that spot every day at a certain time, which they did._

_Then Kindergarten started, and they were in the same class. Then first grade, second grade, and so on, and they were inseparable. Even as they both grew into extremely different interests and personalities._

_They had stopped going to their special spot every day sometime in first grade, but they still tried to go there occasionally, usually having some kind of picnic (which Nico just realized seemed pretty gay), and they continued doing that for years._

_She then remembered the picture that was on her headboard of her and Karolina at the river. She walked over to it and picked it up, feeling her eyes get even more teary seeing how happy she was in that picture. How happy she was whenever she was with Karolina, and how even happier she was with her lately now that they were being intimate with one another. She thought about how much she looked forward to their nights together, and not just because Karolina was good in bed._

_“Oh my god...” Nico muttered, “I’m in love with Karolina.”_

_And Topher’s texts went unanswered for the rest of the night._

—

Nico stared at the picture of her and Karolina that was now broken on her floor, and she couldn’t help but trace back to what happened the day after her birthday. The day after Karolina sent her that playlist. The day after Nico realized they were both in love with each other.

And unbeknownst to her, Karolina was also remembering it at that exact moment.

—

_Karolina quickly turned around once she heard the classroom door open._

_It was the last person she wanted to see._

_”Um, hi, Topher. What are you doing here?” She asked._

_”I could ask you the same question.” He observed her as she was standing on a step stool and stapling something to the wall._

_Karolina rolled her eyes. “My mom is forcing me to put up all these fliers for some charity my church is running. So I figured I’d take care of it early before school starts.”_

_“And the school allows you to do that?” He questioned._

_Karolina nodded. “My parents donate a lot of  
money to this school. It’s basically putty in their hands,” She explained in a bored voice and continued putting the fliers up, no longer looking at him and wanting him to leave._

_”I see. Um, sorry to bother you. I saw you through the door and thought you were my teacher. I had to ask her something about the homework. Um, are you any good at english? Maybe you could actually help me, if you don’t mind. I know you’re busy.”_

_Karolina fought the urge to groan loudly. Why didn’t he ask Nico? Someone who actually enjoyed his company?_

_Instead, she just sighed. “I’ll see what I can do.”_

_They both sat down at two desks, and Karolina looked it over. It was about independent and dependent clauses, which Karolina found pretty easy. She tried to explain it to him and help him through a couple problems, but she apparently wasn’t good at explaining things, because he now seemed even more puzzled._

_’We been knew I’m terrible with words, hence why I had to make Nico a playlist instead of just telling her how I feel,’ Karolina thought to herself._

_It was a day after Karolina had sent it to her, and she has yet to receive a response, so she knew Nico probably didn’t feel the same way. That was the only reason she agreed to spend her morning advertising her mom’s church, because she could avoid Nico who was either going to reject her, or pretend it had never happened. She couldn’t deal with either of those possibilities._

_She looked at Topher who was studying his paper closely. Karolina was gay as hell, but she could admit Topher was handsome. She still didn’t quite understand what Nico saw in him, though. Normally she would just let it go, but she had been so sure that Nico liked her too based on how she acted around her. Part of her still felt like her feelings were reciprocated, but she was too blinded by her anger at Nico for not only ditching her yesterday, but blatantly ignoring her after she had poured her heart out to her._

_”You know... Maybe you’re sorta cute, I guess?” Karolina said to Topher while biting her lip. She had no idea what prompted her to say that. But it felt good to give Nico a taste of her own medicine._

_Topher looked up, surprised. “Uh... Thanks?”_

_Karolina looked down at his lips. Her id took over before her superego could even realize what was about to happen, and she leaned in to kiss him._

_She felt absolutely nothing. Nothing for him, or for herself. She thought kissing him would give her a feeling of vengeance, but it just made everything worse._

_But a voice made her instinctively pull away before she could do it herself._

_”Karolina?”_

—

_“Hey, have you guys seen Karolina anywhere?” Nico asked her group of friends._

_”I think she mentioned putting up Church of Gibborim fliers or something,” Alex said._

_Nico frowned, knowing that meant she was probably avoiding her. She would usually just not and said she did, and then claim people had tore them down when her mom would question why they got no extra donations from it. But Nico didn’t regret not texting her back. She had to tell her how she felt in person. It was the best way. Karolina would understand after she told her._

_“Okay, I’m gonna go look for her. I have to tell her something.” And she took off down the hall._

_”Just follow the culty looking fliers!” Gert called out after her. Even though she was just being snarky, it was good advice. So Nico searched the wall for Gibborim fliers, and followed them each and every way around the school._

_Nico thought about texting her, but she wanted it to be a surprise. But unfortunately, it made finding her much more complicated._

_She asked many of her classmates, and everyone told her something completely different. She was beginning to get frustrated._

_”Karolina, where are you?” She whispered to herself._

_She looked around frantically, almost giving up and considering sending her a text, until she spotted her golden hair through a classroom door window. She was sitting at a desk and seemed to be talking to someone._

_Nico’s feet immediately started moving in her direction._

_This was it. This was the moment everything would change. This was when Nico would finally be true to herself and be with the person who means everything and more to her._

_She stopped at the door, closed her eyes, and collected her breath. “I lamp you,” she attempted to practice, and she cringed at what had come out of her mouth instead. “I lump you- what the hell?” She muttered to herself. Why was she so nervous?_

_She assumed she would get it right in the moment, and she opened the door._

_Her smile immediately dropped when she found Karolina and Topher kissing each other._

_”Karolina?”_

_They both immediately pulled away, and looked at her in shock._

_”What are you doing?” Nico asked in a voice Karolina had never heard come out of her. She sounded... broken._

_”I...” Karolina choked out. She couldn’t have waited five seconds before kissing him? Nico had come to finally talk to her, but Karolina had let her anger cloud her judgement. “I can explain.”_

_Nico couldn’t believe this. She had come to tell Karolina that she loved her and wanted to be with her, only to find her kissing Topher to spite her. She would never be able to wipe that image from her brain. Her sadness turned to resentment. And at this point, she no longer wanted Karolina to know how she felt about her._

_”Oh, really? Explain how you’re kissing **my** guy?!” Nico shouted._

_”I’m sorry! I- Wait, what did you just say?” Karolina asked in disbelief._

_”I can’t believe you! Why would you kiss him when you know I like him?!” Nico screamed, feeling tears form. “I was so close, Karolina! So close to being happy!”_

_If only Karolina had known what Nico was truly talking about._

_”So... This whole time it’s always been about him, huh?” Karolina asked, her voice cracking multiple times._

_Nico was silent, not knowing what to say. What Karolina said wasn’t true in the slightest, but she couldn’t know that. Not after she had just broken Nico’s heart._

_Karolina waited for an answer, but didn’t receive one._

_”So... That’s it?”_

_Nico still didn’t say a word, looking down at the ground._

_”... Okay,” Karolina uttered so quietly Nico almost didn’t hear it, got up, and slowly exited the room with her head down._

_Nico wiped her eyes with her sleeve._

_”Um...” Topher chimed in for the first time since everything hit the fan. “Are you... okay?”_

_Nico laughed humorlessly. “Fantastic.”_

_He slowly got up, and pulled her into a hug. “I don’t know what in the hell just happened, but it kills me to see you this upset.”_

_Nico couldn’t stop herself from returning the hug. She needed something. Someone._

_”I know this is a weird time to ask... But, do you wanna hang out after school?” She asked him in the middle of their embrace._

_”I’d be happy to.”_

—

Before Nico could stop herself, she flipped her laptop back open, pulled up her email, and started typing.

_FROM: sistergrimm87@hotmail.com_  
_TO: lucyinthesky.withdiamonds@gmail.com_  
_SUBJECT:_  
_DATE: Sep 17 at 5:51 PM_

_Karolina,_

_I’m sorry. I want us to be better again. I’d love to talk to you about this in person. How does that sound?_

_Sincerely, Nico_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And you all finally completely know what happened!! hope the wait was worth it
> 
> and also, the playlist Karolina made Nico is a real thing I made and can be found here: https://open.spotify.com/user/pqij81u1tvui1auaojsdqzt0u/playlist/3rpijwpspGABe0zj29LFWK?si=abHdDNmtSQCXj4iocE5wzg
> 
> I’d like to personally thank fa (aka downtothewire on here) for helping me with both the playlist and this chapter. love you, you a real one!!
> 
> and props if you noticed the parallels with the nico/karolina/topher scene to issue #9 of the first iteration of the Runaways comics.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading this fic! You can follow me on twitter for updates @karrienico


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